9 Crazy Ex/Stalker Anthems

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As the summer season makes its exit, so are men and women leaving summer romances. Depending on the people, most break ups are hard but you get over them fairly easily. In other cases, you’re distraught and can’t contain the outpouring of emotion. That’s fine. Do what you need to do to get over a person. (There are some suggestions here, ladies)

In the most extreme instances, one person in the relationship doesn’t understand when it’s over. Those are the ones who still call intensely and show up unannounced. A lot of times you don’t catch the subtle signs of crazy. The Urban Daily and I (@JaySpeakEasy) decided we’d help you out. If you’re in a relationship and they constantly play any of these songs–run!

Jennifer Hudson – “No One’s Gonna Love You”

Jennifer Hudson lets the man know from jump that there’s a little bit of crazy somewhere in her head. She sings about her going through some things before getting into the current relationship. The trouble arises when she starts talking about he better not send her to voice mail because all she’s going to do is text him. Here’s a tip: if you got sent to voice mail, the person doesn’t want to talk to you. Leave them alone and maybe they will call you back. But the calling and texting one after the other is a huge turn off and let’s me know you need more attention than I’m willing to bestow. Fall back.

The Supremes and The Temptations – “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me”

This is a duet between a man and a woman, the title should raise a red flag. Despite the song’s intentions of being a sweet love song, it comes off stalker like because there are undertones of forcing someone to love you. If they don’t like you, move on. People like this switch personalities like Lynn Whitfield in ‘A .’ one minute they’re sweet and loving and the next thing you know, you’re playing James Caan to their  Kathy Bates in Misery. You all saw how that one ended.

John Legend ft. Kanye West – “It’s Over”

John Legend takes the role of the person being harassed after a break up. The girl in the relationship tried to change him. When he walked instead of caving to her demands, she became obsessive. The calling was non-stop and John Legend wants her to get it through her head that the relationship is finished. If you have an ex still calling and coming around, two things should run through your head, “What the hell was I thinking when I started dealing with them.” and “Damn, I’m good.” Whichever you prefer.

Jazmine Sullivan – “Bust Your Windows”

Jazmine Sullivan made a name for herself with this song about destroying an ex’s whip because he destroyed her heart. Homegirl busted his windows, scratched her initials in the upholstery with a crowbar, and went to town messing his car up. The troubling thing about the whole episode is she’s still crying at the end of the song. That’s reason to be concerned because that means the dismantling of the car wasn’t satisfying enough, which means she may do something worse to get her desired effect of making the man miserable. Plus, they’re crazy enough to tell you to watch them do it?! You better have them locked underneath the jail because the streets won’t be safe.

Lionel Richie – “Hello”

This track has ‘crazy person’ written all over it. Lyrics like “I’ve been alone with you inside my mind/And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times” showcase a person who is a stalker with good intentions. This guy doesn’t want to be a creeper, he just doesn’t know how to express his feelings verbally. Don’t let that fool you, ladies. Just because he doesn’t want to get crazy with you doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of doing so. It’s people personified by “Hello” that will chop you up into tiny pieces if you don’t accept their advances. Proceed with caution.

Isyss – “Single For The Rest of My Life”

The now defunct girl group’s biggest hit is also a stalker anthem. Think about it. These ladies sing, “If I can’t have you, I’ll just be single for the rest of my life.” Excuse me, shortie! You will not be single for ever because some guy doesn’t like you. If you feel that strongly about him, you might need to see a therapist in order to not go down that Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction road. No need for boiling bunnies. Find a new man and let it be over!

Mya – Ridin

Mya is gorgeous, so why she can’t keep a man is beyond me. In “Ridin,” she drives all around looking for her man because she cooked him dinner and he didn’t come home to eat it. Some may say this song is more about a woman’s intuition than stalking someone. Those sentiments have merit, however, Mya’s on here because of the lengths she goes to in order to figure out if he’s cheating or not. No need to drive past his mother’s, cousin’s, baby mama’s, and his doctor’s office. No need for all of that. You just wasted a whole tank of gas chasing this guy when you know he’s out doing dirt. Gas is expensive as hell these days. You could’ve stayed home and went all Kelis “Caught Out There” on him.

Lisa Stansfield – All Around The World

“All Around The World” is one of the catchiest stalker songs ever. When you hear it you just have to bob your head. The music is infectious enough to distract from the stalker message. Stansfield is looking for her baby all around the world with no luck. If you couldn’t find him in the first three countries you scoured, you need to have a seat and do some soul searching. There are millions of men on this planet and you can’t find one? You and your stalker tendencies are the problem. Point blank, period.

The Police – Every Breath You Take

A lot of people mistake this song as a love ballad.  Personally, I think there’s no way in the world those lyrics could be interpreted as pure love. If someone used these lyrics in general conversation, the police would immediately be called. (No pun intended.) I would not allow myself to be put in a situation where a female wants to know my every move. Actions like that cause claustrophobia in relationships. Hold up, back it up , and give me some space.

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