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Curtis Snow

Curtis Snow, Global Grind guest columnist and star of the Netflix hit Snow On Tha Bluff, shares his thoughts on the upcoming election — including why voting is important, why he doesn’t trust either candidate, and why he’s considering running for office himself.

The filmmaker, author, and public speaker has been running Atlanta’s infamous BLUFF (That’s short for ‘Better Leave, U Fucking Fool’) for so long, he feels he’s more qualified than either one of our current candidates to lead America into the future. Here are Snow’s thoughts on the election:

Editors’ note: If you live in California, Alabama or Illinois, your voter registration deadline is rapidly approaching. Here is a full list of all of the state’s deadlines.

@RealCurtisSnow: “Still Politicking,” an excerpt from #StillOnThaBluff.

This voting shit ain’t a game. We should have been on it from the rip. Think about all the people that been out here saying, “your vote matters.” Now, your vote really do count. But nobody wants to vote. I don’t even want to go through all that stuff to vote right now.

But everybody who can vote got to, cause shit, it’s gon’ boil down for real if we let Trump get in there. And if he do get in and some fuck shit happen, how you gonna sleep at night knowing you could have done something about it?

But we still don’t know if Hillary is the real wolf in sheep’s clothing. See, this how it is in the street; If I’ma do something to fuck you up, I’m not gon’ tell you. Donald Trump telling you what he gon’ do. So it could be the opposite. Maybe Hillary is the one we gotta watch. Really, can’t trust nothing neither one of ‘em say.

Watching these debates is depressing. They ain’t doing nothing but fake arguing with each other. They ain’t making no points. You ain’t heard them say nothing about no real situation. They just calling each other names and bringing up old scandals. And how my boy Gary Johnson who’s running don’t even know about Syria and Aleppo?

If this shit that much of a joke, I need to be president. In real life.

But if the world finna get ready to end for real, that nigga Donald Trump is the anti-Christ. That nigga make me feel like he the anti-Christ that they was talking about. The one that was gonna come talking all that shit for the world to end. Boy, that shit scary. I’m kinda spooked, man.

Trump’s saying the shit that them other rich muhfuckas want to say.

It’s muhfuckas behind him, I’m talking about super rich, but they just can’t say what he’s saying. But they got him to say it. Them Muslims gon’ go crazy, all that shit he talking about them, man. Them folks gotdamnit gon’ do something about that shit. They ain’t gon’ stand for it.

All the while in the primaries them folks was telling us, “we need to vote, we need to vote, we need to vote.” Everybody wasn’t paying that shit no attention. Now, everybody trying to gotdamn vote. It’s too late! Trump almost got the nuclear codes!

They should have been started with this shit. Way before that man ever even got the notion of trying to think that he could be the president. Once they got in his ear and told ’em, “Boy, you got a chance,” that nigga went to pushing and pushing and pushing, and gotdamnit, here it go right here.

Everybody keeps saying that he’s not gonna get votes and shit. But guess what? Look what happened with Bush and them when they stole the muhfuckin’ election. He got enough money to do that. They could tell them folk, “The ballots got messed up. Just so happens Donald Trump had more votes than Hillary. That’s the way it is. That’s the way it’s gonna be. Fuck it. He’s the president.” And what can we do about it?

But on some G shit, if he gets elected, I’m just gonna have to get down with somebody. Get down with some kind of organization. Somebody who’s strong, to where if the world goes crazy, we’ll be straight. Where we ain’t gotta go to no concentration camp or no bullshit like that. But I be thinking crazy like that. I can’t help it.

You gotta think like that if this shit keep happening in all these other countries, and they keep on saying the United States is playing and bullshitting these folks. We in debt to China a trillion-gazillion-million, so they own everything we finna get, anyway. What if one day they just wanna say, “We ready for our shit?” It’s a bigger picture and muhfuckas don’t think. And they don’t think that I think like that. But I do, it just so happens.

I watch the world news and the local news every day.

Every single day, boy. I cannot miss the four-to-six-o-clock news every single day to make sure I see what’s going on around me. Because shit, we just right up the street from the Center For Disease Control right there. So we through off the rip. What if they said, “CDC outbreak in Atlanta,” and we ain’t looked at the news? Now we walking around don’t even know that this shit is out right across the street. So I’m watching close.

But whoever the next president is, they gon’ fuck around and take all of everything that we got and that we been getting from the government. They gon’ take all this shit, and we ain’t gon’ wait for it to happen. It’s gon’ be like: you don’t work, you don’t eat, for real. You nah mean?

Crime rate going up. It’s going down for real in the streets. They’ll start handing out more time for more crime, because prison and shit already packed, but when they do some shit like that and you got niggas starving out here, they gon’ be really packed.

They taking money off the street.

You gon’ have to be certified with something to where your name can be on one of them cards. Or you gon’ have to get that shit injected in you and all that. Look at how we living out here. You see all these diseases coming. Niggas roaming the street, they can get shot, stabbed, anything. You better have your shit right.

I be thinking about that type of shit, shawty. That’s what a nigga need to be trying to focus on. Fuck them new J’s that’s finna come out. Fuck the new movie, real talk now. Fuck that, this the move.

Cause boy, when this shit hit the fan, if you ain’t got no job out here, you gon’ be fucked up. If you over thirty, or you twenty-five and better then, you need to be trying to get on the jobs and the moves with some of this gotdamn healthcare and benefits type shit. You need to try to figure that out. Because when you get hurt and go down to that hospital, them folks gon’ tell you, “Ay man, where is you going?”

Them folks gonna be turning folks around, literally. Like, “We ain’t even finna attempt to help you if you ain’t got this paperwork shit.” That’s what might happen for real when Barack gets out of there. And look at the mess they done made just to bring it on Barack. All this gon’ get blamed on Barack.

Playa style though, they gotta get smart about they shit some kind of way. Cause a nigga can’t stay dumb. You gotta peep the world move. Whatever’s going on, gotta know what’s going on in your surroundings. That’s why I’m tryna be down with a coup or something. If this world go crazy, you better be down with somebody. Or you gon’ be fucked up.

But I know this is all a set-up. I was watching that Lethal Weapon 3 movie with Danny Glover and Bruce Willis. Gotdamit they were running down the street and a nigga said, “Who is the 50-something president?” And somebody said, “Hillary Clinton.” And this was way back in the day. Just go look at that shit. And The Simpsons called this Trump shit back in the day, too. This shit is a joke to them. That’s why I’m finna run.

If I can just get a seat on that Senate shit down, that would be perfect. I won’t even say nothing. Just see me sitting up there with the word “congressman” in front of my name just to fool them folks.

He ‘the real Donald Trump,’ I’m ‘the real Curtis Snow.’ Your next public elected official.

October 21st is the last day to register to vote in the 2016 presidential election if you live in California, Wyoming, Alabama or North Dakota.

Click here to register now: https://www.usa.gov/register-to-vote

X @RealCurtisSnow

Get my autobiography, I’m A G, on iTunes and Amazon and download my new e-book, Still On Tha Bluff, on StillOnThaBluff.

PHOTO CREDIT: Getty, Twitter

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