‘I Said What I Said’: NeNe Leakes On Speaking Up, Speaking Out And Speaking Joy Over Her Life

NeNe Leakes’ effect on pop culture lives luxuriously rent-free in your cranial condo. She has permeated our lexicon, group chats, and everyday vernacular through viral quotes like, “I said what I said” and “So nasty, so rude.” She is a permanent fixture in the popular GIF section with facial expressions that speak volumes. But there is so much more to Linnethia Monique Leakes than her hilariously sharp tongue that the world deserves to know.

Because NeNe stays booked and busy, we connect over the phone during some of her downtime on set. Though I couldn’t see her, I imagined her innermost thoughts surrounded by armed guards cloaked in studded Balmain blazers. NeNe is known to be highly selective with her interviews. It’s the same way she treats herself: not everyone is granted access. Interviews tend to lose their luster when there are already so many preconceived notions about you.

Audre Lorde said it best, “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” And the more NeNe and I spoke, the more I was able to see that she is living by that mantra. Our conversation gave me a glimpse into her core. And she’s different than who you might think she is.

“I am a person who has a big heart. I’m a very caring, loving person. I consider myself [to be] a fun person. I am a spiritual person,” the reality TV icon mused during our candid chat.

At 56 years young, NeNe has left an indelible mark on the culture, overcome the highs and lows of the entertainment industry, and been an advocate for other Black women. She has experienced immense grief in the public eye and fractured friendships, and yet still, she stands stronger than ever, ready to embrace her soft era.

The House That NeNe Built

“People are watching you on TV and they form their own opinions about who you are and what you are, but they don’t really know you to your core, to your heart,” explained the Queens-born entertainer. She interrupted our regularly scheduled programming in 2008 as the breakout star of Bravo’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, a reality show focused on showing the world the personal lives ATL’s prominent Black scene. NeNe, who was raised in Athens, Georgia, has lit up our TV screens in sitcoms, reality show competitions, shopping networks, music videos and she’s even stepped onto the Broadway stage. RHOA can be credited with launching NeNe’s career into orbit, but it’s really Nene who should be credited with catapulting the Real Housewives franchise into the stratosphere.

Arguably the most popular franchise, fans tuned into RHOA every week to see NeNe’s larger-than-life personality. To hear NeNe tell it, the Real Housewives Of Atlanta is her house, she may not live there anymore, but she most certainly built it; it’s no secret that the entire Real Housewives franchise gained momentum and success during and after the Atlanta season. There are over 150 women from the Real Housewives franchise and while there are many standouts, there’s only one NeNe, our reigning queen of reality TV.

While NeNe may deserve that crown, she doesn’t claim the title. “I can’t call myself a queen [of the housewives and reality TV], but I see why people call me that and I receive it,” she said, delighted in reverence.

“I know all the things that I did [on Housewives]. And I know all of the memes that are out there. I know when Real Housewives started, I was the OG. I was the one that was there pushing and making every scene a great scene. I know the work that was put in behind the scenes that the people who are viewing the show, just don’t know,” she explained. She has skin in the game with Real Housewives.

NeNe was even instrumental in casting choices on season one, bringing on then-friends Kim Zolciak, DeShawn Snow, and Shereé Whitfield who made magic every time the director called “Action.”

Slinging punchy one-liners and witty shade, NeNe has never been one to back down, and it’s one of the reasons we love her most. But if you care to look beyond her entertaining quips, NeNe always knew her worth and was always willing to shake the table to make sure that everyone around her, including the reality TV powers-that-be, knew it as well.

“I definitely have spoken up for Black women,” NeNe passionately shared. She and RHOA castmate, Kandi Burruss both spoke up for their fellow castmate, Porsha Williams, after the network was considering cutting her from season six. Together, they fought for Porsha to stay on the show.

At the beginning of RHOA, cast salaries were much lower than one might expect, with reports claiming they took home just $10,000. But NeNe personally advocated for better compensation, eventually leading the stars to get six figures. Now, the salaries can range anywhere from $100,000 to $1 million, with Black women reportedly often getting the short end of the stick.

It’s a problem that spans multiple industries and one that Black women are speaking out against. Like NeNe, Oscar-nominated actress Taraji P. Henson made headlines recently by calling out the pay disparity she experienced on the set of the film The Color Purple. “I agree with Taraji P. Henson. I agree,” NeNe said.

“People are out here cheering for those they actually should not be cheering for, but you don’t know that because you’re watching people.” She added, “You become a fan of theirs, but there are a lot of people that we cheer for that we shouldn’t be cheering for. They’re out here doing a lot of bad things behind the scenes that people just don’t get to see. So, unfortunately, I think there’s always been a difference in pay with Hollywood. And it’s always been the Black woman [who] has always been the lowest paid.” But not on NeNe’s watch!

A Work In Progress

“I think through my career, some people have really looked at me as a villain. I’m not a villain by any means.” NeNe shared. “I am definitely a woman who will speak my mind. I’ve always been that girl that keeps it 100. But I’ve learned over the years that honey, I’ve got to keep it about 75,” she shared with a hearty laugh.

It’s true, she doesn’t have to lift one manicured finger and you can still feel the supreme essence of doing the most misting in the air. Her very existence has shifted the culture and undoubtedly changed reality TV forever, but she yearns for more. “I hope that you guys will see me again in acting roles. That’s the hope and the prayer,” NeNe said, admitting that her sights are set on lights, camera, action, but in a role that is not NeNe Leakes. “I love acting. I have opportunities where we are still discussing me as an actress,” NeNe explained.

In fact, NeNe Leakes is under construction. Looking at the screen queen, you’d assume that everything is just peachy. From her signature, sleek blonde tresses to the soles of her feet, tip-toeing inside of her designer pumps; Nene is just showing us an age-old passed down Black trait: never look like what you’ve been through.

“I was raised to be a strong woman,” NeNe recalled of her upbringing. She was raised by her aunt, who did the best she could to give NeNe a good life, but strength had to be a part of it. She shared, “My aunt used to say, ‘Don’t you let that situation take you out.’”

Like many of us, she is on a journey of self-improvement. That journey doesn’t mean that things are perfect or that there’s even a destination to arrive at, but she’s learned to never give up. Like so many of us, NeNe is a work in progress.

The Soft Era

“Being in the industry and being a public figure, it’s definitely pressure there to look beautiful, look your best, stay small, look healthy, all of those things and keep up with the latest trends. I felt that pressure myself,” she admitted.

Adding that she too “felt that pressure,” she’s clearly not cracking under its weight. NeNe is in the best shape of her life, which she credits to her “professional mini BBL” and weight loss aids like Mounjaro for keeping her waist snatched.

She continued, “You do have to keep up. You do have to keep yourself looking great. Now, I don’t have a problem doing that because I’m one of those girls who I will be fighting to the end, honey!” She laughed. NeNe is no stranger to undergoing procedures and finding ways to reach her desired aesthetic. She believes that plastic surgery can be considered a form of self-love.

“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and plastic surgery is such a huge trend right now, everybody’s getting everything done. Almost every woman you meet these days has had something, if it’s nothing but their boobs done. After you give birth to your children, I think you’re loving on yourself to get your body back to the place it was before you had your baby. Even if you gained a little weight, to go to the plastic surgeon and fix something after you’ve lost that weight again or to even go to kickstart your weight loss journey, all of those things is loving on yourself,” NeNe said.

She admitted, “I look in the mirror all day honey, and I love what I see. I feel very good. I feel very blessed to still even be on Earth to look in a mirror. Physically, I am happy where I am. Emotionally, it could get better.”

Tough Times

In 2021, NeNe’s late husband Gregg Leakes lost his battle with cancer. Like NeNe, we had grown to love Gregg and the balance he brought not only to the Leakes family but to the cast. His sage pearls of wisdom and quiet but stern demeanor were a direct contrast to the other personalities on the show.

NeNe and Gregg’s marriage, divorce, and marriage again, played out before our eyes. Towards the end of NeNe’s final season on the RHOA, we got a glimpse of what “through sickness and in health” looked like. And NeNe put on a brave face while she silently suffered. Gregg’s passing shook the Internet and social media with fans offering his family prayers and condolences. NeNe took a step back out of the spotlight to grieve, but anyone who has dealt with the loss of a loved one knows grief is a process — a day-by-day, sometimes minute-to-minute thing. And one that no one should have to endure under the scrutiny she did.

NeNe turned inward and upward to God where she found strength. “I’ve had a lot of big situations that hit me and hurt me, and I still kept my mind and I thank God for that. You gotta stay strong-minded. You ask God for strength,” NeNe shared. Strength can oftentimes be a characteristic thrown atop Black women like a badge of honor. But we deserve to have the space to be soft, weak, vulnerable, and taken care of.

“I don’t feel like I get taken care of a lot. I don’t. I’ve not had that. I want that. I feel like I’m always taking care of people and no one is taking care of me,” Nene said. “I feel like people look at me like I am okay. ‘She doesn’t need anything. She’ll be alright no matter what.’”

“Thank God I pour into myself,” she shared.

Even the strongest person you know needs help sometimes. However, this year will be different for NeNe and the people like NeNe reading this who feel that they need to be taken care of. Name it and claim it in the name of self-care.

The Queen Reigns

She has decided that this year, she will be doing the most. “The most for myself, okay!” She exclaimed. “Love all of myself the most, travel the most, pray the most, party the most, laugh the most, and get rid of most of the dead weight people in my life,” NeNe said of her plans for 2024 to get to a place of feeling like she’s being taken care of. And hopefully, she won’t have to do that for herself, but she’s prepared to.

She left us with this, “A lot of times, you forget you and you squeeze you in. Focus on yourself in 2024.”

More From Our January Issue:

NeNe Leakes: Plastic Surgery Is A Form Of Self-Love

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‘I Said What I Said’: NeNe Leakes On Speaking Up, Speaking Out And Speaking Joy Over Her Life  was originally published on hellobeautiful.com