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Could our problems all be my fault?

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You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?

Send your questions to Terrance:

Yes, yes, yes! It’s the weekend and time for some fun! I hope you all have some wonderful plans and exciting events planned. Whatever you do be safe and have lots of fun.

But, you also know what today is. It’s, “Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend” Advice Day!

I  have another two-for. Yes, I received two different letters from women about the same subject, “How can I tell if he is really into me after we’ve had sex?” Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, so check out the letters and my response below.

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I meet a lot of guys but can’t ever keep them. I am very sexual and I feel like I may put out too fast. Most guys want that, but then that’s all they want. Can u sleep with a guy too quick and still squeeze a relationship out of it?

Well, I met this guy, “Derek,” and we went out and had a great time. I mean, he painted my toes, we sat by the fire and watched a movie, and had a drink. You know, just chilling. That night I went home with a kiss and that’s it. I can tell he wanted more, but we left it at that and I felt good. Over the next couple of days I didn’t hear from him, so I called Derek and he invited me over and I went. We laid in the bed and, you know, he tried touching me, but I stopped him. He got mad and I told him that I liked him and I didn’t want to move too fast. Derek made it seem like I was making it worse by not sleeping with him, so I did. Silly me, I know. And you know what, he still doesn’t call.

I finally talked to Derek and he says that he hopes I’m not the type of sensitive chick who wants to hear from the person she’s dating every day.  Derek also said that he doesn’t hope I think he’s cheating because he doesn’t answer the phone. He said he can go days without hearing from me and be cool with that. However, that bothers me.

When I first met Derek he told me when he takes a girl out he likes for them to dress a certain way because he likes to dress himself. So, I dressed my ass off for our date and we go to Steak and Shake. I’m like, ‘What the hell!’

I try to play it off and not call him because Derek says he doesn’t have to talk to me every day, but why won’t he call me? Should I move on? I just want a cool dude to kick it with but he is complicated. I feel like I mess up every relationship. When we do get together we have fun. Should I just close my mouth and not be too emotional? – Where To Go From Here

“My Man’s Estranged Wife Is Harming Our Relationship”

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I met a guy, “Craig,” and we have dated for two months now. Craig is the most romantic man I’ve ever dated. We waited a whole month before we kissed and after the second month we decided to introduce sex. Now, Craig seems so stand-offish. He doesn’t take me out any more. We used to go on dates three or four times a week, and now we barely go out. What can I do to get the romance back? – Lost In Translation

“He Can Get It” Wednesday: Ramel Murphy

Dear Where To Go From Here and Lost in Translation,

Oh, lawd! I hear the violins and Alicia Keys banging on the piano with you singing right along, ‘All I wanna know baby, if what we had was good, how come you don’t call me anymore?’

Sorry, ladies, but, HE IS NOT INTO YOU!

I don’t know what it is with sex and love. But, I will tell you that the two are not equal, nor, determining factors if a man, or woman, is into you. Sex is not negotiable. You don’t negotiate sex with someone as a bargaining tool.

I know how you feel when you meet someone special and you’re really feeling them. But, before having sex with them you have to make sure they are the real deal. Yes, that means investing some time to really get to know him. What is this madness with so many people wanting to jump in the bed to prove their love, and like, for some fool you just met? I mean really! Do you know what is he really about? No! Because you’re hot in the pants and if you don’t bed him quickly then you feel you may lose him. Girl, BYE!!!!

But many of you say, “Okay, I really don’t want to jump in the bed and have sex so soon, but if I don’t then he/she may not like me.” Miss me with that foolishness. Stop proving your self-worth and value to someone by having sex with them. Sex does not equal love. Sex does not mean they like you. Sex is only sex. Stop making it mean they are going to be with only you and become monogamous. Just because you have sex with someone does not mean they are going to change. If they were whores before you, then guess what, they will be a whore with you!

And when you jump in the bed trying to prove your love and like for them, and afterward they become disinterested, or stand-offish and he stops calling you wonder, “What happened? Why isn’t he being romantic like he was? Why isn’t he calling me like he was before?” It’s because those men were after one thing and one thing only – your NaNa!!

Ladies, don’t miss out on the red blaring signals going off around you.

1.) If he stops calling you after having sex with you, girl, stop wondering why he’s not calling you. That’s all he wanted.

2.) If he tells you, “I don’t need to hear from you every day,” yet he calls when he wants you to come over, uhm, sweetie, you are a jump-off.

3.) If he has you dress-up in your finest, and you go all out getting your hair and nails done, and you end up at a fast-food or some low-budget restaurant, girl, he is not into you. He thinks you are cheap and he’s just trying to get you home real quick to get in your pants.

4.) If he’s not talking romantically to you anymore, or he’s not taking you out on any dates any longer, then guess what Ms. Honey, he’s gotten what he wanted from you and he’s moved on.

Listen up, ladies, you have to let the man know how to treat you by both showing and telling. If you think you’re cheap, then the man will treat you cheaply. Know your self-worth and own value. Don’t let a man treat you like some low-budget chick. You tell him, “I’m sorry, but if this is a date, then you need to take me some place nice. I am dressed nice, looking good, and I am not a cheap date. So you can take me home and when you figure it out then you can call me!” BAM!!!!

Stop proving your love and like for a man by having sex with him. If you don’t want to have sex with a man, then don’t. Say, No! And let your no mean no. Tell him, “My body is valuable and worthy. You have to work for this, and you have not put in enough work to earn this, or me.” And, stop jumping in the bed cuddling, touching, and fondling with him. You can’t say one thing and do another. Yeah, he may be fine. Yeah, he may be in your ear telling you all the things you want to hear. But, you have to say to yourself, “What is my own self-worth?” And, “How long has it been, and am I ready?” Also, “Am I doing this to prove something to him?”

Ms. Where To Go From Here and Ms. Lost in Translation, and to all you ladies out there, You are valuable, worthy, and adored. You are Queens! You are our mothers, aunts, sisters, and most valued treasure. Honor yourself and make sure the men you meet treat you as such. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than, or inadequate. If he stops speaking to you or gets upset because you won’t have sex with him, then guess what, he is not the man for you. He is not worthy of your time, space, or energy. Tell that fool to, “Kick rocks and blow bubbles.”

Like Lil Kim rhymed, ‘You want cheap trick, you better go down to Freak Nik’ – Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend

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“I Slept With Him, Now He Is Ignoring Me!”  was originally published on